I had been thru a couple of years of very troubling times and had lost the love of life and the desire to live. I had lost a really close friend, had to deal with one of my children having a child, and feeling like a failure as a mom. I was working three jobs to make end meet and found myself just not wanting to live. A friend became concerned and suggested that I seek counseling. I had been to a counselor when I was a kid but had never thought about it as an adult. After thinking about it for a while, I asked my friend if she could recommend anyone. She highly recommended Dr. Bridges after saying she was the best therapist in Plano, so I made an appointment for the following week.
I had doubts going in but I also had nothing to lose. I really didn’t want to live and I didn’t know how to find my way back to enjoying life. After going to counseling for just a couple of weeks, with the help of Dr. Bridges I was able to figure out that with everything I had been dealing with I was depressed and dealing with anxiety. This was the beginning of me regaining my life and learning to deal with problems as they happened. I have learned that it is ok to be sad and to grieve when I lose things in life but I have also learned that I can continue to live and learn to enjoy life again.
First I had to accept and work thru the loss of my friend. I was blaming myself for not staying in touch with my friend like I should have over the last several years. I found that I was blaming myself for some of it and felt guilty. I was thinking that if I had stayed in touch I could have changed the outcome and this was not realistic. Then I had to accept and stop blaming myself for my child getting into a position where she was having a child. I felt like a failure as a parent because this was not how I had raised my children. I had to accept that this was not my fault and no matter how many restrictions or limitation I had put on her it may or may not have changed the outcome. I was able to forgive myself and my daughter and reestablish a close relationship with my daughter. I came to the realization that this was a very difficult time for her and she needed me to support her and not judge her or focus on myself and trying to assign blame.
I was amazed that Dr. Bridges was able to help me deal with and not only overcome but understand why I had felt so overwhelmed and had lost my desire to live. Thru counseling and talking to her I have been able to find not only the desire to continue to live but I have learned how to enjoy life again. I have enjoyed being there for my daughter thru her pregnancy and being able to watch my granddaughter grow and be an active part of her life. Yes the adjustment was not easy and I still work daily to remember what is important and what isn’t. I have to remember that I am not responsible for my granddaughter and I have tried really hard to allow my daughter to parent her instead of imposing my beliefs and trying to take over and be her parent.Do I struggle with this? Yes sometimes I do but I have to remember that I can accomplish more by being there for my daughter when she asks for help or suggestions but I don’t have to control everything. The most important thing I have learned thru all of this is that I do not have to have control over everything in life. That is not the way life works and that was what led me down to road to depression. I am so grateful to my friend for recommending Dr. Bridges.